At the crossroads of healing "me"

For the people in my life who really know me, they know I am a MAJOR Queensryche fan (verging on groupie if I were not married or had a child). I have met the band at post-show meets-and-greets about three times now, and have signatures and pictures with the band. Yeah, it's a huge throw-back to the '80's rock scene (and, no, I could never get my hair THAT high!), but their music (and, let's face it, the hottie-pants that is Geoff Tate) draws me to them every time.

What impresses me the most about this band is two-fold:

1. Their music changes with the times, hence their staying-power, yet they alway have their signature sound. You KNOW it's a Queensryche song, no matter what. I like that - they don't blend in with the current sound.
2. When you go back and listen to their songs after a hiatus (especially their more recent music, from Empire forward), you garner new meaning in the songs that weren't there before. The lyrics are constant, but the message grows as you do. Really makes you think.

So, now that I am at my own crossroads of healing "me" (my first counseling session is tonight), here are two songs that I once thought I understood, but that message has changed to mean so much more.


One More Time
By Queensryche

Behind my eyes
I keep my truth from you.
No one entersthis secret place,
the barrier only I embrace.
Time is fleeing now
they say,
Take time to look inside
and face... the change.

Dig down deep
to find the man I thought I was.
A dog on a treadmill panting,
the master pulls the leash, laughing.
Now I can't remember why
I needed to run, needed to try so hard.

One more time around
is all I ask for now,
a star to seek by, wind to
take me home again.

"Work hard in life boy,
there's paradise in the end."
Year after year we struggle to gain
the happiness our parents never claimed.
They told us all we had to do
was do what we're told, buy what was sold,
"Invest in gold, and never get old."

One more time around
is all I ask for now,
a star to steer by, wind to
take me home again.


Someone Else?
By Queensryche

When I fell from grace
I never realized
how deep the flood was around me.
A man whose life was toil
was like a kettle left to boil,
and the water left scars on me.

I know now who I am.
If only for a while,
I recognize the changes.
I feel like I did before the
magic wore thin and the "baptism
of stains" began.

They used to say I was
nowhere, man,
heading down
was my destiny.
But yesterday, I swear,
that was someone else not me.

Here I stand at the crossroads edge,
afraid to reach out for eternity,
One step, when I look down,
I see someone else not me.

Looking back and I see
someone else.

All my life they said I
was going down,
but I'm still standing,
stronger, proud.
And today I know there's
so much more I can be.

From where I stand at the crossroads edge,
there's a path leading out to sea.
And from somewhere
deep in my mind,
sirens sing out loud
songs of doubt
as only they know how.
But one glance back reminds, and I see,
someone else not me.

I keep looking back
at someone else... me?