Monday, November 22, 2010

Five years ago today.... world was breaking apart.

I was going through my second miscarriage today - well, at the time, I thought my first. I can't believe five years has already passed. It still feels, in many ways, like it was yesterday. And, here I sit, no one on my real life remembering, what this day means to me.

And, today, the day has been just as hectic and void of sanity as it was five years ago. But, that is another story I will save for much later.

Although I am so very grateful for what I have today, my heart still breaks for what never could be. I love my angels with all of my heart and soul, and still mourn all of the "what if's" that will never be fulfilled and realized. I wonder what my angel would be doing now...what Chris and my angel would be like together.

But, for what little time you were in my life, I know I could not be here as I am today without your short time. I needed you as you were...not what you should have been or could have been. You changed my life for the better, and for that, I am grateful. Someday, Chris and Gabriel will find out about you...and know more. For now, I will light my candle tonight for you and hold you in my heart for a while...

I love you, little one...

Friday, October 15, 2010

Coming back...soon...

Dear blog - I have neglected you for quite some time. For that, I feel terrible.

But, I needed time to decide what to do with you. I am still not sure where I am going per se with this... However, one thing I want to be clear on is that, although life has not been easy, I will not:

  • whine
  • complain
  • insult
  • take for granted anything

about my life on this blog. I can't - that would be insulting to anyone who finds this blog.

More coming soon....

October 15th: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day again

For all of us who have lost our precious angels...

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May we find a little bit of peace today while we remembers our angels.

I will be lighting my candle tonight for:

Angel #1: Lost 9/19/04
Angel #2: Lost 11/22/05
Angel #3: Lost 3/21/06

I am always thinking of you...through the joys and the difficulties of every day...