Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Missing you, my first Angel Baby

Today could have been your third birthday... But, instead, you became in 2004 our first Angel to watch over us.

I miss you...and love you. Happy Birthday, sweet Angel. You are gone...but certainly never forgotten.

Friday, May 16, 2008

So darned tired...

I can't believe I am due in under 30 days...and I am out of work for three months in 14 days...

The days are just whirling by - and there is so much to do still.

And, added to that now is my IL's are back in their house. Oh my! A real estate investor they know bought the house "as-is" and an agreement drawn up that they will pay him rent for 1-2 years, at which time when they can get financing, they will buy the house back from them. So, they are in a mad-rush to be in the house this weekend...

...And, I am left waving my flag, needing to get things done (like, ummm, pack my bag for the hospital?!?!?) and no one is paying attention to that.

Anyways, training here at work is going well...and I feel confident that my jobs will be done correctly while I am out. Phew!

I will try to post more over the weekend...if I have the energy. E2 is sucking out all of my energy... I think the last time I felt this exhausted was when I was dealing with the major insomnia that started after my March 2006 m/c....

But, I am going to miss that when he is here. :(

Thursday, May 08, 2008

My little guy doesn't want to be a big guy

Since Chris has been sleeping in his big-boy bed every night since Saturday night (and most naps on the days he is not at my Mom's house since she doesn't drive), his nighttime routine has changed a bit.

It used to be that Daddy would read him a story as I played Vanna White doing the page turning in our bed while he had a cup of milk...then, it was time to use the bathroom, brush teeth and Daddy would lay down with him until he fell asleep (and Mommy would retreat to the futon to sleep since I just can't sleep in our bed right now).

Now, Mommy reads the story (specifically, the "I'm a Big Brother" book) at the foot of his bed, while Daddy gives "his baby" (AKA, the doll he got from the sibling class) a bottle and Chris has his milk...then, it is time to use the bathroom and brush teeth. Now, Chris has asks me to sit with him while he falls asleep - so I grab some pillows, sit next to his bed while we talk a little bit and then he falls asleep.

We had a conversation last night about him getting to be a big boy...and how he doesn't want to be a big boy. It was probably one of the sweetest conversations we have ever had.

To preface, I have been very careful throughout this PG that 1) Chris understands where E2 is right now and that Chris was once there too, 2) there will be some changes coming and that I might not always be able to drop things immediately with baby to do things for him, 3) Chris, no matter what, will always be Mommy's baby too...even though he is growing up and doing more big boy things and 4) we will always make time for him...special time that will only be his.

Doing this seems to have made his understanding of what is happening clear to us - you can see that a bit with how he handles "his baby"...

...Although I am prepared for regression. ;)

Anyways, so we were talking again last night about how well he is handling "his baby" - with feeding him, burping him, holding him, checking his diaper (even though it is just a doll right now) and how proud of him I am that he is being such a big boy and a good big brother already.

That was when Chris said he didn't want to be a big boy yet.

...And my heart just melt...and I wanted to cry.

So, I told him that, although he is doing such big boy things like using the potty now, using regular cups and utensils, going to school, "helping" Mommy to vacuum and make the bed and such...he does not have to be a big boy all the way just yet. I told him that he still was a little guy - he would be still for a while. ...And, it was okay for Mommy and Daddy to still help him with things, or for him to cry when he has booboos or is frustrated that he can't do something. He didn't need to be a completely big guy yet. He had time to still be my baby...

When I was done, I noticed he was snoring...

My little guy had fallen asleep during my reassurances.

...Only proving that, yes, he still is a little guy. And, he doesn't need to be a big guy in every way just yet.


Monday, May 05, 2008

Happy 4th Birthday (a day late), my little man!

Yesterday was Christopher's 4th birthday...and, oh my! How he has grown! From this:

(about 20 minutes after he was born on 5/4/04)

to this:

(this past Christmas, 12/07)

in 4 short years...

We spent the weekend moving Chris into his big-boy room...and I feel like he has grown into his own big person in less than 7 days. We are so pleased...but sad too because he is just not so little anymore. He is growing up so fast...and more so within the last 6 months or so.

The room is no where near finished...there is baby bedding to be bought for E2, organizing the crap that has accumulated, putting up the finishing touches (so, the "Big Reveal" won't happen on the blog until everything is complete). But, Chris has his new bed and his new dress - his own big-boy space. And, I think he is really pleased because, for the first time in a looooong time, he has slept in his bed all night long: No want to be with us overnight, his insistence that he be in his own space. He went to sleep in his bed Saturday night and never looked back...all the while, we checked in on him and were sad that he is no longer a baby.

I am so going to miss that.

Here is the progression of things:

How Chris used to sleep (this pic was from last summer....the binkie has been gone since at least October) our bed, a tornado in our midst.

Helping Daddy put together his new dresser last weekend (no, Hubby lost no fingers)

Chris and Daddy playing Indiana Jones before bedtime (one of the nightly rituals with his bedtime story)

Helping Papa put his bed together Saturday night

Testing out his new bed

How he woke up yesterday morning

When I talked to him yesterday morning, he mentioned that he rolled out of the bed that night (we did not put the bedrails on Saturday night because it was very late and he needed to get some sleep for his sibling class at 9 am Sunday morning - but, we did put pillows on the floor just in case he did roll out). Then, he told me that he climbed back up on the bed and went back to sleep... Poor thing! I felt terrible that he rolled out of the bed. So, I reminded him that he could always come and get one of us...and the bedrail went on before his nap Sunday afternoon.

Chris had his sibling class yesterday morning (I am just such a good mommy, that I scheduled him 9:00 am the morning of his 4th birthday to be back at the hospital he was born at to learn about being a big brother!)...and he really loved it! Best $40 we spent in a long time... The nurse showed the kids (ranging between 2 and 7 years old) how to hold the baby properly, how to help mommy and daddy change the baby, what the baby does at the beginning...and we took a tour of the nursery to see the babies who where there (including an impromptu elevator ride that he was not expecting...he doesn't like elevators, but handled it like a champ!).

Chris just LOVED IT! He carried "his baby" now named Otto (since Hubby refers to E2 as Otto all of the time) around the hospital the right way...showed his baby the other babies in the nursery...insisted his baby (which we got to keep as part of the $40 fee, among other goodies) go EVERYWHERE with us yesterday (a trip to Toys 'R Us, Wendy's for lunch, dinner, to grandma's this morning...). Actually he handled his baby better than most of the girls in the class, who dragged them around by the foot! He is really practicing being a good big brother with this baby...and it is adorable to see that.

Here is how Chris woke up with morning, bunking in with his baby:


He fell asleep, snuggled head-to-head, with his baby last night (notice his baby needed clothing too...this is a sleeper I received as part of an on-line shower gift on FF. It was supposed to be for E2!).

I am just so amazed by him... His progression with speech, his empathy towards others, his sense of humor, and, so, so much more.

I just wish he didn't ever have to grow up.