Change is inevitable, Growth is optional.

In my post Quotes with meaning, I posted about a small church in the area where I work that puts up inspirational sayings on their message board outside the church once a week.

The new saying which has caught my eye is:

Change is inevitable, Growth is optional.

While I go through these experiences of loss and the counseling to address them, I am finding that I am, when I feel physically good that is (kinda hard to do when you have those GERD symptoms!), growing. I have had several people comment about how strong I have become over the passing months (which I am finally starting to believe now) and how my story has inspired them in overcoming, yet remembering, their losses. I think that was one of the underlying reasons of starting this blog - to let me see how far I have come, and to maybe help someone going through similar life events find some strength.

Change is something a person can't always control...and I am beginning to truly understand and accept that concept now. But Growth is something you can open up to and allow to happen...not quite control, but at least welcome into your life.

Maybe I am beginning to feel this way because I have managed to go to sleep on my own - no meds to assist - the past two nights, despite still feeling rather crappy with those GERD issues. Maybe sleep is being welcomed back into my life because I am slowly learning to give up the control and accept what life has given me, and grow from it.

...Who would've thought I, of all people, would become philosophical!

So, I have made the choice to NOT stalk Dr. D's office for the recurrent loss panel results... I am going to give that pursuit up because, I know he is reviewing the labs and, when the time is right, the knowledge of what is in there will be given to us. That does not mean I will not ever call (I mean, if two weeks from now I don't get a call, I WILL have to stalk!), but I am going to allow life to happen for a change. I hope I can resolve to stick with that. ;)