Where to begin...where to begin...
Hubby and I have been clashing a lot recently... Between trying to get things settled for the wedding (like tux fitting for Chris, dress fittings for me, finding shoes, yada, yada, yada) and Hubby's whacked-out work schedule, there has been no time for "us" at all.
He got home from work on Monday night at 10 pm - and, of course, Chris would not go to sleep for me. So, I got absolutely nothing done Monday night. I was flippin mad: He doesn't make that much more than I do right now, and I only have a bachelor's degree that I don't even use. He's not getting paid overtime for this...and the attorney he works for, at least to me at this point, it totally using him for his own agendas. The guy doesn't want to drop any of the cases he is working on - it's an ego thing at this point - so, with only a two-person practice, that puts a huge load onto Hubby. The guy can't pay Hubby more right now because he needs to collect fees from his clients - and, for whatever reason, he is hesitant to do it. So, Hubby is doing triple the work he did at his old firm for 75% of that pay. Doesn't seem fair at all.
Hubby went on a job interview last Friday - looked soooo promising: 8-5 pm, great salary, health benefits equivalant to mine at Rutgers, gym on-site. It was a primo job - and he had "an in" there, since one of the other attorneys he used to work with at the State now works there. Would have been my first chance to cut back to part time, and keep great IF benefits. But, he got an e-mail - YES, an E-MAIL - on Monday afternoon saying that they chose someone else because Hubby had "too much litigation experience." WTF??? He busted his butt to get that experience, to only have it bite him back and be a negative? What gives on that?
I was so upset - not only for him that he didn't get the job, but for me that I am back to the never ending cycle of full-time work at a job an hour away - that I barely spoke to him on Monday. I know it wasn't his fault....but I took it out on him anyway, and I feel bad for that. But, Hubby, being the ever-understanding person that he can be through my emotional ups and downs, sent me the following on Tuesday to my office:
He is such a sweetie. ...And, of course, I had to apologize for my rather child-like behavior.
We also found out yesteday that Hubby's former boss at his State job in Newark was killed yesterday... It was quite a blow, since he was such a nice man. They are investigating it as a possible suicide - which we absolutely do not believe is what happened - because he fell off the platform of the Bridgewater train station and was struck by a train not scheduled to stop. We are waiting to hear what happened - for real. And, we are waiting to hear about funeral plans and such... What a loss this is. He was the one instrumental in getting Hubby into counseling for his own personal "deamons" from childhood. He was just a nice man: Mentor, friend.
Work has been absolutely crazy - there are just too many jobs to do, and everything is a priority. I knew this was coming - how could it not when you have a Director and three other Associate Directors (or minions) coming at you with "urgent" jobs to take care of. Not to mention, the lack of good communication between the four of them! This is the first time in the 8+ years I have worked here where I feel like I am making mistakes and can't keep up. The worst part? We have no one to pawn jobs off to - our office is too small and we are all overloaded. And, it is only going to get worse in January when we get our DHS grant - JUST in time for me to get back into TTC! Yippee!
I also found out how V from my pervious post (see post on How can a "habitual aborter" ever think this way??) had her miscarriage - which makes me feel even worse for the thoughts I have been having over the entire thing. She was on her way in to work and stopped into Dunkin Donuts. While on line, she started getting terrible cramps and an urge to use the bathroom. She went into the bathroom and miscarried right in the D&D ladies room. It's bad enough she had to miscarry in the first place, but to have to do so in such a public place, alone, is just not right. Add to that, her fiance didn't support her all that much, which really made her crash. They have patched things up a bit for now - seems like he just didn't know what to say. But, that sure doesn't sound like much hope for that relationship now. I will see her for the first time on Saturday night at the rehearsal dinner... How does one handle that?
We saw Zia's show in Red Bank on Friday (she is in 1776). It was fabulous! Never saw the show before - and, besides the entertainment factor, it was quite the history lesson. Zia is just sooooo talented... I wish she would consider trying the big time someday, KWIM? She has a voice that is just amazing, and it is too good not to share.
As for wedding stuff... in a little more than 48 hours, it will ALL BE OVER! WooHoo! I am excited for Suzi, but the mega planning in less than two months has caused my MIL, Cookoo (Hubby's aunt and mom of the bride) and Rocky (Hubby's grandmother) to clash like I have never seen before. Amazing what one event can do...
Anywways, it was a bit of a battle to get Chris fitted for his tuxedo - the second he saw the tape measure (a la the pediatrician's office), he started crying. We took him back on Wednesday night for a fitting...and of course, the second he recognized the building, the waterworks began. But, he did okay and the tux fits fine. Now, we are having an issue with him even wanting to carry the pillow down the isle....that is, if he will even go down the isle!! My IL's are trying to train him right now.
I am picking up my dress today over lunch. Went for another fitting yesterday (with our poor System Administrator in tow since we had to carpool yesterday - his wife's car was in the shop) and I still had a stupid bubble appearing in the boob area. NEVER had that happen before...but, since losing the 35 pounds I lost, I went down from a 40 cup to a 34 cup! So, it figures this would be a problem now. But, it should be done and ready to go today.
And, we can add to all of the wedding hoopla the pre-holiday agruments of my parents (gotta love it!). My father is insisting he needs a hip replacement surgery NOW, which means disability pay and my mom getting upset over the bills getting paid. My sister and I are trying to brainstorm on how this is all going to work out - that is, when we can talk since she is busy with her life too.
Phew! Talk about an update! So, let's add more stress to the pile, why don't we?
After we recover from the wedding on Sunday, I go to see the other gastroenterologist in my GP's office at 2:45 pm (Dr. Stef). I am hoping we can finally figure out, once and for all, why my stomach is still a mess. Don't get me wrong - it's been MUCH, MUCH better since being on the Librax. But, I can't take Librax while TTC/PG (it's a Category C drug - known to cause birth defects in babies), so we have to figure out another way to manage it, and why I am having such a problem in the first place. This guy is goooood! So, I hope I have some answers on Monday.
Also on Monday evening is my TTC consult with Dr. D. I have already started my list of questions (including referals for a hemotologist and baby aspirin/bloodthinners while PG) to present to him, and to give him my reservations on using Clomid again. I am very nervous about this appointment... Just don't know what I am going to get in terms of hope for starting again. At least he has the bloodwork that was done on October 27th - so, finding out the results of all of that should at least give us a starting point.
Probably won't be able to post until after the wedding... Here's to all of us having a good time, and I will post pics on Monday!
No comments:
Post a Comment