Friday, March 24, 2006

A little about me...

This is my 2nd attempt at a blog - first one I deleted back before we started to TTC again in July 2005 because, well, I had nothing to really say at the time.

Now that I have had my second miscarriage in four months, after primary and secondary infertility, NOW I have something to bitch about. For some backgroundd, here is my IF history:

* Have had irregular cycles since the start of getting my periods around age 12.
* Took me 18 months to TTC my precious son, conceived with 50 mg Clomid and IUI in 8/03. C was born 5/4/04 and is my first blessing of many.
* In an attempt at baby #2, the first round of 50 mg Clomid in 7/05 failed because I never ovulated; the second round on 100 mg Clomid and a cancelled IUI produced a blighted ovum and d&e in 11/05; the third round on 100 mg Clomid and yet another cancelled IUI produced a baby with no heartbeat and measured a week behind, and a d&c was done 3/06
* We are on a TTC break until January 2007 as we do a recurrent loss panel and other testing.

I am not a journal person by nature, but since I will be seeking out counseling this time around, I figured I might as well start now.... I need to start writing out how I feel in order to really start getting past these losses. I hope someone will learn something from my experiences.

I will post song lyrics often that express how I feel at a given for them.

For right now, here is my first blessing I would like to share and why I find this a blessing - sharing these blessings, for me, is something I need to do and do often because I have lost sight of them in the past 9 months of TTC #2:

My son. He is the most amazing little man anyone could have asked for. He was so longed for, and a sheer joy to carry for 9 months. His eyes show you his world - so bright and blue. And, he KNOWS when you need a special hug or a laugh. He has a great sense of humor, and knows how to use it already. He's 90% daddy, 10% me. He is all I could have wished for, even when he is being stubborn, and he made the 18 months of longing for a child all worth it.

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