Getting nervous on TTC protocol

So, I called Dr. D's office this morning to let him know I got the Red Storm this morning...calling as per Liz's instructions (the nurse who I can never remember her name)...

...but, when I spoke to Lee (the nurse who's really up on things and the one I usually talk to), she said she was not sure if Dr. D would give me the go-ahead for meds/IUI this cycle - 1) because my consult and last exam was in November 2006 (which I knew), 2) she didn't see the clearance to TTC come through from Dr. S's office (I am sure it is there - their new "electronic record keeping" system is not always reliable) and 3) because I ovulated on my own this cycle, he may want to see if I do it again.

Damn it! This is not what I wanted.

I am waiting for Lee to call my back here at work after she talks to Dr. D.

I don't want to wait another cycle (or more) to get in to see him... No one said I needed to! I told them two months ago that once I was cleared, we wanted to move forward. No one said I might have to haul in for another consult/check-up. Why didn't anyone mention it then?

I really don't want to TTC on our own and pray that I ovulate again... I would love to think my body is going to do right by me again, but it has fooled me several times before, I don't really trust it.

I want this TTC cycle better controlled... I want to see us have a better chance at this.

Damn it.

I am trying to trust this will go right, but I am starting to worry and freak already... And, I really don't need this feeling of worry. I HAVE to stay off Lexapro and Xanex - if I can't, then I have to wait longer to TTC until I can.

Damn it.

...All I want is Clomid and the freakin IUI. Is it that much to ask for??? I have waited so long for this - and I am READY!

Will post an update when I hear back from his office.

Updated #1:

Lee called me back - Part of the hold-up is they do not have the clearance from Dr. S to TTC again (Ehhh???). She asked me to call over to Dr. S and get the clearance letter faxed over. Once Dr. D gets that, then he will decide what we will be doing. She didn't indicate either way if I would have to meet with him first and "sit" this cycle out medically...

I called Dr. S' office and the nurse there seems to remember having sent this over... (Ehhh??? Ehhh???) She said she would leave my file on the top of her chair and have her address this first then when she came in (which would be very soon). So, hopefully, she will send something over today. The nurse gave me an excited "Good luck!" when hanging up...so, it sounds like she will make sure this gets done today.

So, we are not out just yet...