Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Damn it, Anxiety! I will NOT let you win!

So, I am down to 5 mg Lexapro solid right now...and I start coming off completely next Tuesday.

...Except, I am now starting to get physical glimpses of how the anxiety affected me all of 2006... I am getting that sore throat, that achy feeling all over my body, the stomach tightening, the racing heart. It is not as bad as it was...

....But, I am not happy about it, as you can well imagine.

I am determined to NOT let anxiety win this time. Damn it, I worked too hard to heal. I worked too hard to accept my life as it is. I have worked too hard to get to a comfortable place with TTC again.

Damn it, Anxiety! I will NOT let you win this time!

Come hell or high water, I will be off Lexapro. I will get to TTC again. I want this now more than ever. I deserve another chance, even if it doesn't work out in the end. I am finally ready to try again, and I want my chance!

I bought my OPK's (the 20-strip Answer package, just to see if I might be ovulating on my own for a change) and HPT's (just for the hell of it...although those I will hoard until the actual TTC cycle). I faxed over the go-ahead to Dr. D last week. I am emotionally ready...

...Just trying to kick the physical me into shape!


niobe said...

Stopping anti-anxiety medication is really, really hard. After all, there's generally a very good reason you were on it in the first place.

Kudos to you for getting this far and for mapping out the road ahead. It sounds like you have a plan in place and that's more than half the battle.

cat said...

*hugs* still here, always sending you love and support chica.

Jessica said...

I will keep you in my prayers for strength and the ability to overcome this. I can imagine how hard it is. You deserve another chance and deserve that little miracle.

Joy said...

Praying for you, Tina. You DO deserve another chance!!!