Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Getting off the "Whine Wagon"

You know... I took a good, hard look at parts of My New Year Meme and my Damn the Fates! post - and I've decided it is time for me to get off the "Whine Wagon."

"Things you hope to accomplish by the end of 2007
1. How to stay positive for the future. I've lost my optomism over the past year."

I have felt sorry for myself for way too long... I have always been the optomist in my circle of friends... The one who was sure of the decisions she made and the relationships she had. And, here I find myself acting like a sick bird chirping for help. Where did that come from? Maybe it is justified...or was justified. To know you have things physically wrong with you that can cause you to repeatedly miscarry is not something that is easy to deal with. But, THAT WHINING isn't the real me.

So, I have come to some decisions that I just won't back down from. My docs have optomism that my body can get pregnant and stay pregnant again - so, I am going to match that optomism. There are things I WANT for my life - and I am done playing by the events that have ruled my life until now.

Here are the things I WANT for my 2007....

1. I want Chris to be able to wear this PROUDLY:

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2. I want to look at and PURCHASE baby gear again like this:

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3. I want to WEAR summer maternity clothes like this:

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4. I want to look this happy again:

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I am tired of the pity-party I have been hosting for a long time...The pity party is closing its doors to newcomers. It's time for some changes and get back to My Blessings. It's time for me to get back to me and live again.

Yesterday, despite feeling under the weather still from Chris' stomach virus (hey, Chris, darling, can you share your stomach viruses with Daddy at some point???), was a small up-turn of events for me:

1. Medically for me, I now weight 145 lbs (much less than I ever expected to be, so I have some wiggle room to gain some weight back...especially if I do have to start thyroid meds), I have started on a new pregnancy-safe med called Bentyl for the Gastritis (which is WORKING! So far, not much balking today from the ol' tummy), the Gastro doc re-ran the thyroid bloodwork that my endocrinologist's office never sent so I know where I stand with that (and can start thyroid meds, if needed).

2. For my mom after her fall on Saturday: She has a hairline fracture in her knee-cap (and a fracture in her nose too - that one is minor), which can heal on its own provided she keeps her leg straight. So, it should heal in about 4-6 weeks - it is "inconvenient" for right now for watching Chris, but I can and will make things work so she can heal completely. The good thing with her falling is that her and my dad are getting along better now! Go figure - maybe they learned something from each other!

3. I have decided that, since I have a lot of work to be done here at work and I can't do that work if I have to take days off to accomodate the medical issues of my parents and FIL, I am going to ask to work from home 2 days per week. I am going to talk to my Center Admin about it tomorrow (she was out sick today). Hell, it was offered to me and taken back 2+ years ago - and they have bent schedules around for others in my office. So, it is high time they do something for me in that regard. I do more than my share here...and I know I can make it work. I work for a math/computer science research center, for Pete's sake! I think we could figure out how to telecommute, right???

4. Hubby has put out the "job feelers" and is sending out his new resume.... He wants me home full-time (I will take part-time), so he's on a mission now. I don't want him to "prostitute" himself to those big-ticket firms...I want some balance for the both of us.

I am almost 34 years old... There are things I want...the biggest being a sibling for Chris. So, I have made the decision that I WILL NOT delay TTC because of the current events. I am done wasting time... I want to TTC again in January - and I am telling DH tonight that the games are back on!

...I will be breaking out the Provera on Christmas Day! That is my gift to myself - a period in the New Year and a fresh start on adding to our family. Time to celebrate! Let's break out the bubbly!

Hummm.... I think I am gonna call my friend Kris tonight and see if she wants to do a girls night out sometime soon. We haven't had one of those in a looooooong time - and it's high time we do! Muuuhahahhahahahahh!


dawn said...

Yeah Tina!!! Good luck with everything, I wish I cold be so honest with myself and set some real goals. You are great and I know you will succeed.


Jenn T said...

Yay! Your joyful and optomistic tone is wonderful to hear! Lots of P&PT coming your way.

The Town Criers said...

I love the idea of turning to your husband tonight and declaring, "the game is back on!" Go kick some pregnancy ass. Instead of "take back the night" it needs to be "take back the cycle." I'm glad you're not letting this process control your year.

Jessica said...

Tina... I'm so glad to have read this post. I'm thrilled you aren't going to delay the 'big game'. I am determined for us to be pg together and I really want this to be your miracle. I pray and hope your New Year brings great changes for you. And I think it's "about damn time" you get to work from home a few days a week.

Love all the things you picked out to post, I hope you get to look at them further.

Dianne said...

YAY TINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am glad for your new decisions, I like them better than the throwing in the towel!!! You will be a couple months ahead of me so that is good- I will steal AF from you then!!!
I am very happy for you and your posts have inspired me. I agree with people that its about time the new year bring you some happiness and good news for a change!!!!! Me too I hope!!!
Love Di