This baby is finally becoming real...tangible...

I wanted to post these yesterday... but, the NT scan the appointment took a LONG time, then I had to go shopping for a birthday present for a party tomorrow, and then my IL's and I took Chris to the Turtle Back Zoo to see their Holiday Lights Show.

The next u/s went very well - baby's heartbeat is still around 150 bpm, he/she is moving around and measuring right on for where I am. Phew!!

I won't know results from the NT Scan (risk of Downs, trisomy 13 and 18) until the b/w comes back next week and that is compared with the scan. From there, we decide if we need to do an amnio. We met with the genetic counselor prior to the u/s and we basically decided that if my risk of chromosome issues is low (say 1/900, etc), I won't do the amnio. But, if my odds are higher than the m/c rate of the amnio (which is 1/300), then we will do it. So, that is for next week and will be continued then.

Meanwhile, the MFM clinic is checking my homocysteine levels (Dr. D didn't think it was necessary, but the clinic wants it done). I am scheduled for a Level II u/s on 1/10/08 at 18 weeks (they will check cervix then due to induction of Chris and the d&e/d&c history) and after that, I will go back to them for about 2 more u/s's to check fetal growth due to thyroid issues. All the while, still going to Dr. D for normal prenatal checks.

One of the best parts is that according the the MFM clinic scale, I weight 2 pounds less than I did at Dr. D's office 2 weeks ago! YEAH! I am getting worried about my weight (not because of how much I lost, but because I am eating SO MUCH, SO OFTEN!). So, we will see what Dr. D's scale says in 2 weeks!

Here are the u/s pics from yesterday:









I am still so, so guarded about this pregnancy - always scared of the next u/s, the next doppler check, etc. Thinking the rug is ready to be ripped out from under me... That I am going to find out this baby is going to leave us too.

It has been so hard for me to think positively...to be happy...to enjoy this time. I want to. And, I am trying. I want to enjoy when Hubby talks to the baby, whispering how much he loves him/her already. I want to be happy when Chris pats my tummy, saying hello to his younger sibling. I want to glow when people start to notice I am growing into maternity clothes.

But, I think it is finally starting to sink in now that this PG may very well work. I am closing the door to the first trimester now - and, it has been very uneventful. I think we are looking at bringing a baby home in June...finally, a sibling for Chris to love and protect.

I want so much to believe...