What is MY happiness...and where did it go?

Mel over at Stirrup Queens is at it again....with her Happiness Challenge.

...You know, Mel, you are going to single-handedly get me fired one of these days with the ideas you come up with. :)

Anyways....

Mel posed the question of What is happiness? As in, what is your definition of happiness?

Well, honestly, I just don't know anymore. My idea of what happiness should have been for me - happy family, two children, being a stay-at-home mom, not having to worry about the bills, blah, blah, blah - has been blown out of the water and I am not really sure what is left yet.

...I am still trying to re-assemble the pieces...

...Again...

Like I mentioned in my post Illusions of Normalcy, my childhood ideas of where my life would be now are completely different than what the reality is....

...I suppose, though, we can all say that, can't we? Very few of us can say our lives are where we wanted them to be, right?

But, I don't think what I have wanted since I was a child was that much to ask for. It's not like I wanted millions of dollars, roses in my bedroom 24/7, maids and cooks to wait on me hand and foot, million-dollar parties with the finest silks and china in the world.

I wanted two children, and a little more time with them as they grew up.

That being said, what is happiness for me?

Not being on the verge of tears all of the time might be a really start.
(*** Insert sarcasm here ***)

Seriously, the only real, real joy I have right now is Chris...and my family as it stands now.

To that end, my ritual once a week is going to be two-fold:

1. I am going to create a post once a week that details specific memories I have with Chris that I want to preserve for the long-haul, so I never forget them. I will start with his birth story during the course of this week.
2. I am going to set aside time every Saturday or Sunday to do something special with Chris - only him and me - that does not involve chores or every-day things. Like, a special trip to the ice cream shop, or a quiet walk in the park.

I will see you all in a week.... We are heading to the Jersey Shore today and I plan to be out of internet contact the entire time! I need some time to think about things - and enjoy my time without thinking about work, TTC, and everything else.