In a bit of a quandary....

So, I know, I know.... It's been a long time since I posted here. But, people are still reading and leaving comments of thanks to my posts.

....Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

I am in a bit of a quandary right now. So, I am turning to the blogging world for a little bit of advice.

For the past 2 years, my whole self has been off - it's been very hard to explain, but most of it centers around my periods. I am okay....up until ovulation (since, I am in fact, ovulating!). Once that hits, I am a totally different person: moody, combative, overwhelmed by noise (including from my boys), unable to concentrate, forgetful, disinterested, eating everything in sight....the list goes on. The 3 weeks or so before ovulation is fine - I exercise, eat right, lose weight. Then, ovulation hits and I am out of commission for 3 weeks.

....This is getting really O-L-D....

I spoke to Dr. D at my annual last year - I opted to go up to 15 mgs. Lexapro. That worked for about 2 months...then it's been downhill from there.

I went for my annual yesterday with Dr. D (in his new posh office closer to my work - farther from my home) and I told him what has been building up for 2 years now. He said, guess what:

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pmdd/AN01372

Great...just great. Another disorder to add to my growing list!

**Thud**

He said there are a few options, of which some I have already tried and did not work, like the Lexapro increase (and I WILL NOT allow myself to go to 20 mgs. and have it not work after 2 months again!). There is one option which he said would most likely work:

....a minipill.

**Thud** **Thud** **Thud**

What am I supposed to do here? I have the MTHFR gene mutations....which can lead to clotting, right? And, what are one of the risks of the pill? You guessed it....clotting.

What the hell do I do now?

I need to get my life back here. I am losing time with my family...the family I fought for. But, at the same time, I don't want to risk my life over possible medical complications (and, yes, we have a will in place).

...I know I need to talk more with Dr. D....which I will do next week. He explained that this would be a non-estrogen pill, so it a much lower risk for clotting. That makes me feel a little better. I go for my annual physical next week, so I will have time to talk with Dr. M about this too.

I am just so unsure what to do right now. None of the conventional treatments have worked thus far, not even knowing this is what I am dealing with. I could use some input from anyone else who is dealing with the MTHFR issues right now....

Thanks.